I Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage At 18. Then I Found A Chat Room That Promised Escape — For A Price.
"Every time I met with a man, I was terrified of my husband finding out, while also secretly hoping that he would." It was late winter, and Motty was the fourth man I’d met in person over the last few months — out of the dozens I’d chatted with since the fall — in an online chatroom while still in my Hasidic marriage.Every time I met with a man, I was terrified of my husband finding out, but also secretly — desperately — hoping that he would so he’d be forced to divorce me. At the time, I felt like I was doing something to free myself. Chatting with these anonymous men made me feel like I had power over my husband, but I also felt ashamed.On the eve of Passover in 2014, I finally escaped with my four youngest under the cover of darkness. I told my attorney everything a few days before we were to appear in court: the chatting, the meetings, the sexually explosive emails.Then, I stumbled upon a chatroom for heimish people. This term was used in the Hasidic community to describe insiders, so I knew these were my people.
